Steven Wright one liners - loads!
Such as...
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building... on
the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm
afraid of widths.
When I was five years old I was on a merry go round. There was
a gunshot nearby. The horses stampeded. There I was running
down the street on a purple wooden horse.
I can levitate birds. No one cares.
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room
temperature.
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